×
Have you seen a flying-related story or photo that made you laugh? Post it here and share the chuckle. Just remember, not every member is a grizzled old "been there, done that, had the antibiotics" pilot. Some students here may be well under 18, so please keep it clean(ish)
Who said Ground Crews don't have a sense of humour
MrGOG
Topic Author
MrGOG created the topic: Who said Ground Crews don't have a sense of humour
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by airline pilots for a major Australian airlines over the years and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. Obviously, many of them don't suffer off-the-cuff comments lightly and provide equally 'pithy' replies.
P= The problem logged by the pilot.
S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Auto-pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.